From the bunker: Urgent memo from the Supreme Commander

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From the bunker: Urgent memo from the Supreme Commander




I have been forced (for the good of the Party) to enter the Supreme Commander Bunker. It appears that entirely falsified and inconclusive ‘evidence’ has been circulated to ‘journalists’ by the loathed Party-hating, devil-worshipping, enemy of the track Chairman Collins. Chairman Collins has decided to leak ‘an email’ that I may or may not have sent many years ago regarding the fact that I didn’t know anything about the behaviour of our hated ex-comrades and enemies of track – the Russians.

The evil and highly dangerous Chairman Collins has seemingly believed the word of the treacherous, back-stabbing, despised, inconsequential and bitter enemy of the track, ex-comrade Bedford over the word of you Dear Leader and Supreme Commander. This is an outrage. These lies are being spread by my enemies and they are trying to finish my Supreme Commandership before it has even begun. I don’t need to remind you what a disaster it would be if I were to be removed. Comrades, I am the only man who can save the Party. I am putting myself in great peril to try and stop our enemies from destroying everything we stand for.

I cannot believe the way in which the world is turning on me. Just like those despicable, plotting ex-comrades at the BBC. I put them where they are today. I gave them everything and now they are putting out ridiculous accusations that I send emails. Up until recently, the BBC has been a fine and upstanding broadcaster that has only ever spoken the truth. Not like the ‘journalists’ from other parts of the media – particularly the biased ones in Germany and at the Sunday Times (fake) newspaper. With one exception (Comrade Cram), everyone at the BBC, or connected with the BBC in any way (including watching it) will now be regarded as an enemy of the track and liable to expulsion from the Party.

Comrades, I will remain here in the Supreme Commander Bunker until this whole matter has been put to rest. Alongside me, I have Spiritual Leader Diack (who has been here for a while now), Comrade Henderson (the only man who speaks the truth in the media), Comrade Cram (who conducted a very thorough investigation into the matter and found that I was entirely innocent) and Comrade Radcliffe – who I have allowed to place some paperwork in the Supreme Commander Safe for fear that it falls into enemy hands.

Take cover, comrades, enemies of the track are everywhere and they are vying for blood. Brothers will turn on you. Your spouse cannot be trusted. Suspect everyone. The Party must be vigilant if it is to survive this unprovoked and all out assault on our liberty.

Comrades, I will be back to regain control of the Party before you know it. These evil-plotters may inflict bruises but they cannot possibly take me down. I am the Chosen One. I am the Supreme Commander and Dear Leader. I am the Party. The Party is Me.

In the Party’s greatness,