MJ WHISPERS TO MEDAL COLLECTION: ‘WE WILL GO AGAIN’

General view of the Rio Olympic Stadium during the Men's 3000m steeplechase final Athletics test event in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Saturday, May 14, 2016. The track and field test event is the last of more than 40 tests events for the Rio de Janeiro Olympics with the games opening in less than three months. The three-day test event ends Monday at Olympic Stadium in the northern neighborhood known as Engenho de Dentro. (AP Photo/Felipe Dana)
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MJ WHISPERS TO MEDAL COLLECTION: ‘WE WILL GO AGAIN’

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Quickly and quietly retreating to his hotel room after watching South African Wayde van Niekerk break his 17 year-old 400m World Record, Michael Johnson reportedly reached for his medal collection last night.

Gently stroking the 4 Olympic gold medals, the American choked back the tears as he promised the small circular pieces of metal that they would ‘be glorious again’. Remarking that these medals were ‘bigger and better’ than the ‘worthless’ Rio medals, MJ picked up his hotel phone and ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels.

At press time, the former double Olympic Champion was seen stumbling around the Rio de Janeiro Hilton in his Atlanta ’96 racing suit singing the American national anthem.